NFL Adopts New Rules: Quarterbacks To Wear Dresses


Published: March 24, 2009


... the start of the 2009 season. 

Here are some of the rules that were passed:

Every Quarterback Must Wear a Dress on Game Day

The dresses must be ankle-length to prevent any cuts, scrapes, and all other abrasions to the knees, shins, and ankles.

Dresses must be in team colors. White may only be worn in the preseason games because the regular season and postseason are both after Labor Day.

Defenders May Not Tackle an Offensive Player Anywhere Above the Shoulders

As a matter of fact, defenders may not tackle a player anywhere below the belly button, either.

Any player who commits an infraction must kiss the player's boo-boo and give him a chocolate chip cookie. 

Pass Rushers Must Use a Five-Mississippi Count Before Rushing In

Defensive linemen and blitzing linebackers are simply getting to the quarterback too quickly. 

Before the five-Mississippi count, p...

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