Apocolypse Belichick Now

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for NFLSportChannel.com

Published: April 10, 2009

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... I sit in this hotel room he sits in the snow and gets stronger.

I asked for a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. 

I met with the commissioner in his New York office after I sobered up.

He read my resume, "I see you were involved in operation Marcus Vick."

"If such an operation did exist," I said, "I would not be at liberty to talk about it."

"Of course," he said and pointed to the other suit and tie wearing guy, "this is Mike Tannenbaum."

Mike shook my hand and said, "Of course, I'm not here."

The commissioner told me about my mission, "There is a coach in the Northeast Country that has set up a, well, they think he is a God.  Your mission is to terminate him."

"Terminate, how?" I asked.

His aide, who looked like Harrison Ford, said, "Terminate with extreme prejudice."

As we drove along Interstate 95 I went over the dossier.  I could not believe it. They want this coach fired.  In h...

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