Judgement Day: Isaiah Stanback Facing End As Dallas Cowboys Receiver

When University of Washington quarterback Isaiah Stanback was signed by the Dallas Cowboys, it was apparent he wouldn’t follow in the footsteps of another Huskies quarterback, Warren Moon.

Dallas acquired Stanback with hopes of converting him to a wide receiver.

They might as well be trying to convert atheist Richard Dawkins to Christianity.

Nobody doubts Stanback’s talent, his attitude, or his willingness to work. And as the Cowboys’ Mickey Spagnola reports, injuries may end up derailing Stanback’s career in Big D before it even starts.

I applaud Stanback for his attitude, but it’s looking like this MacGyver approach to developing wide receivers isn’t working for Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

You know: the approach where you draft only one wide receiver in two years, sign undrafted free agents, including quarterbacks that you try to convert into wide receivers. I believe in Haiti, where a friend of mine is a missionary, they call it Degaje: doing the best you can with what you have available.

If Stanback is cut by Dallas, I’ll wish him well, but will also consider it a blessing. Jones’ football savvy has never particularly impressed me. Maybe he will swallow his pride and actually draft a wide receiver in the early rounds.

On the other hand, Dallas could certainly use far more players with Stanback’s smile and attitude—especially when you consider the sour lemons like Terrell Owens, Adam “Pacman” Jones, Terry “Tank” Johnson, and so forth.

Perhaps Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Needs an Intervention

It has nothing to do with alcohol or other substance abuses, believe it or not.

 

Mr. Jones: you’re a great marketer who will probably be in the NFL Hall of Fame someday. But please, please swallow your pride and hire a general manager for the Cowboys, someone who has football savvy.

 

In the 16 years you’ve been doing it your way since Jimmy Johnson was, well, fired, the Cowboys have been quieter than Marcel Marceau in the postseason. Sure, they won the Super Bowl in 1995, but that was with Barry Switzer letting the players Johnson mostly assembled do their thing.

 

Paris Hilton will probably win an Academy Award before a team you assemble wins a Super Bowl.

 

Nothing personal, Mr. Jones. You just need to leave the football decisions to those who know football.

 

Case in point: taking the infamous Quincy Carter in the second round of the 2001 NFL draft when he still would’ve been available in the late rounds. (Of all the quarterbacks taken in that draft, only Drew Brees is currently a starter). Maybe you could coax Johnson to return as general manager, but you’d have to promise not to pester him on draft day.

 

Otherwise, I fear this will happen:

 

While in your office, you are abruptly visited by Gene Jones (your wife), Stephen and Jerry, Jr. (your sons), Roger Staubach, Troy Aikman, Bob Lilly, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, Jimmy Johnson and, somehow, the ghost of Tex Schramm.

 

Mrs. Jones: Jerry, we love you, but it’s time.

 

Jones (confused): Time for what? To sell the naming rights to Cowboys Stadium? I have it down to Papa John’s Pizza, Nike, Netflix, Papermate Pens and—

 

Stephen: No, Dad, not that. It’s time for you to swallow your pride and hire a general manager, someone with football savvy.

 

Jones (indignant): Are you sayin’ I don’t know nothin’ about football, son?

 

Aikman: We all are, Jerry. Football and, apparently, grammar.

 

Jones: What do you base this upon?

 

Johnson: Jerry, if you’d just swallowed your pride and let me do things my way, it wouldn’t be nearly 15 years since Dallas’ last Super Bowl. But no, you were so convinced you knew football. Well, it’s apparent now that 500 men could run this team as well as you could.

 

Jones: You think so?

 

Schramm: Jerry, you drafted Quincy Carter in the second round when no other teams even had him on their draft board! Last I heard, he’s working the graveyard shift at 7-11.

 

And you signed Terrell Owens, even against the best wishes of Bill Parcells—a man who won two Super Bowls and who deserves some credit for the New England Patriots dynasty. Never mind that San Francisco 49ers coach and president Bill Walsh, one of the greatest NFL minds ever, all but branded T.O. “uncoachable.”

 

And what’s this nonsense of drafting only one wide receiver the past two years? And would you mind telling me why you’re telling the Fort Worth Star-Telegramyou might want to have Adam “Pacman” Jones back?

 

Jones: Well, I took Michael Irvin back after his drug problem.

 

Irvin: Whoa, don’t drag me into this! Yeah, I had legal problems, but at least I caught touchdown passes and helped the team win three Super Bowls! The only action Pacman’s seen is sprintin’ at full speed to avoid being arrested. When I try to think of Pacman’s Cowboys highlights, all I hear are crickets chirpin’!

 

Mrs. Jones: Honey, we have the private jet fueled up. You’re heading out to the Betty Ford Clinic for 30 days. We’re here for you.

Donte Stallworth Deserves Suspension for DUI Death

It looks like some sanity exists in the NFL.

That’s because NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has indefinitely suspended Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth.

Stallworth recently pleaded guilty to criminal charges involving his drunk driving and his killing of a pedestrian. He received 30 days in jail, 10 years probation, 1,000 hours community service, and has paid the victim’s family an undisclosed amount.

Thirty days in jail seems like a slap on the wrist. I had a relative who, back in 2001, was killed by a drunk driver. The driver was an illegal immigrant, had no license or insurance, and had just left a party where there was apparently no effort to keep him from driving even though he was far above the legal limit. The driver received 15 years in prison and will be deported once he serves his time.

The driver who killed my relative, obviously, couldn’t afford high-priced attorneys. He also wasn’t an NFL athlete who made lots of money. That probably explains why he went to prison.

I joke a lot in my blog postings, but I see little to laugh about now. I would hope that Stallworth will learn from his lesson and see that an irresponsible use of alcohol has caused him to take something from someone he can never give back.

How long will he be suspended? How about a year? Adam “Pacman” Jones had to sit out a year for unsavory activities off the football field, but he’s never been charged with intoxicated manslaughter.

The NFL’s thrown the book at Michael Vick for his part in wasting animals’ lives, why not Stallworth?

Perhaps Goodell could fine Stallworth a hefty sum and then send that sum to help pay the medical bills of Jacqui Saburido, a young Venezuelan lady horribly burned from injuries suffered in Texas at the hands of a drunk driver.

I blogged recently about a former NFL athlete who was acquitted on DUI charges due to lack of evidence. Well, it turns out the athlete refused field sobriety tests. One person who commented told me he had a right to refuse. Sounds more like a scam, and it exemplifies why DUI (which in my experience as a reporter, happens practically daily in America) is such a problem here.

Donte’ Stallworth may lose his job with the Browns, but Mario Reyes lost his life.

If you drink, all I ask is that you do so responsibly. Otherwise, this insanity will continue.

Random Ramblings About The Dallas Cowboys

I had this nightmare last week about the Dallas Cowboys. It’s early in the season and David Buehler is set to kick the ball off. But instead of drilling the ball out of the endzone for a touchback, he nails a laser beam right to the Cowboys sidelines, where it nearly decapitates head coach Wade Phillips. The opponent gets the ball at the 45-yard-line.

Phillips, unlike his father Bum, doesn’t wear a big 100-gallon Stetson on the sidelines.

I hope it was just a dream. Frankly, the only controversy I’d like to see is Buehler and Nick Folk (the Cowboys’ primarily placekicker) get into is a heated argument over which PAC-10 school is better. Buehler went to USC (which could probably beat some NFL teams) while Folk went to Arizona.

I’m relieved that Cowboys punter Mat McBriar is doing much better after recovering from the broken foot that he suffered last year in that embarrassing loss to Arizona. Dallas must have confidence in him since he’s now the only kicker on the roster. Maybe drinking lots of Foster’s Beer did it for McBriar, Texas’ favorite Aussie.

Enjoy your training camp with the Cowboys, Rudy Carpenter. Rudy’s a rookie free agent quarterback from the University of Arizona. I suspect his time in training camp will be as an insurance policy in case rookie Stephen McGee turns into Mr. Magoo when it comes to dropping back and reading defenses.

I keep thinking that next season, the Cowboys’ new head coach will be Mike Shanahan–especially if Dallas misses the playoffs or takes a very inglorious early exit. Or if Phillips gets drunk and tells Jerry Jones, “Five hundred owners could run this team!”

Jerry Jones, Please Tell Me You’re Joking About Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones

More and more, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is convincing me he needs a general manager.

He also needs a “no” man with football savvy. You know, someone who knows football, can evaluate talent, and has the moxie to tell Jones when his ideas are bad.

There’s no shame in that, is there?

I write fiction, and my wife can be both caring and honest if she thinks a fiction idea of mine stinks more than a body undiscovered for three weeks during a Texas heat wave.

So why does Jones need help? Because he hinted in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram that troubled former Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones could return to the team.

What do I remember the most about Pacman? A few run-in’s with police, a fight with a body guard, a stint in rehab for alcoholism, and a remarkably-unremarkable season.

Sometimes risks work out pretty well. Pacman hasn’t been one of them.

Jerry, please set your sights on hard-working secondary players and kick/punt returners who consider staying out of trouble to be something done reflexively and who don’t require 24-hour surveillance.

Is it just me, or has no other team expressed any strong interest in Pacman? Shouldn’t that tell you something, Jerry? Huh? Huh? Should it? Huh?

Dallas Cowboys Random Ramblings

San Antonio Express-News columnist Buck Harvey speculates that Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones might be interested in taking a gamble with Michael Vick if the circumstances and timing are right.

By this, we assume Vick gets back into the NFL (still a long shot) and still has his physical skills (such as his 4.2 speed). We also have to assume Dallas would out-bid the other teams who would want Vick’s services.

But in reality, how hard could it be to outbid the NFL teams willing to risk the league minimum, along with the Canadian Football League, Arena Football League and semi-pro teams vying for Vick’s services?

If Jones does this, it wouldn’t really be surprising. Yes, Jones passed up the chance to draft troubled-but-talented receiver Randy Moss. But he’s also taken chances on other controversial players, like Adam “Don’t Call Me Pacman” Jones, Tank “I’m Sorry, But This Stupid Blogger Forgot My First Name” Johnson, “Cryin'” Ryan Leaf. With Jones, the master marketer, it’s about making the cash register go cha-ching!

Of course, anything’s possible. My advice to Mr. Jones, resist the urge and pass on Michael Vick. If Dallas has depth at both wide receiver and quarterback if and when Vick returns to the NFL, I think he will…

…Mr. Jones has officially opened Cowboys Stadium, which has cost a whopping $1.150 billion. Now, all it needs is a name.

And at that cost, it’ll need corporate sponsorship. Maybe it can be called U.S. Government Stadium or Barack Obama Stadium. What’s another $50 million annually in sponsorship going to hurt when you already have a $3 trillion federal budget?…

…Advice for Mr. Jones: Let things be and move past the Terrell Owens Era. It took the Cowboys a few seasons, but we finally learned what the San Francisco 49ers and Philadelphia Eagles already knew: T.O. cares more about catching passes than he does winning football games.

If he wins a Super Bowl, that’s great, but it’s ideal if he does it while catching every pass the quarterback throws.

Is it just me, or do the Eagles seem like a much more content and, arguably, better team with Owens gone?

Should the Dallas Cowboys Have Taken Moss Instead Of Ellis?

The Dallas Cowboys released linebacker Greg Ellis, who spent 11 seasons with the silver and blue.

And I’m hearing the whispers in many blogs:

“Hey, the Cowboys screwed up in that 1998 draft! They should’ve taken Randy Moss instead of Ellis in the first round!”

Nonsense.

Yes, Ellis had in recent years been public with his displeasure over his playing time, but when he did play, he was a solid player. Six times he led the Cowboys in sacks, including five straight years. He’s eighth all time on the Cowboys’ all-time sack list at 77.

Yes, Randy Moss is a talented wide receiver who has all the tools. But keep in mind that 20 teams passed on Moss in that first round due to his well-documented legal issues. He’s admitted to drug use and once famously said he took plays off. Is it a coincidence he’s on his third team?

Perhaps playing for Bill Belichick has been an attitude adjustment for him, but considering his run-ins with the law and that suspension for dousing a referee with a bottle of water, I really don’t think Dallas erred in taking Ellis. Yes, with Dallas’ current situation it looks like they could’ve used a wide receiver.

While some think of what could have been if Dallas had taken Moss, I have to ask: What guarantee do we have that Moss would’ve turned out brilliantly? What guarantee do we have he wouldn’t have been cut due to disciplinary problems?

I must admit, though, that in light of taking chances with Adam Jones and Tank Johnson, it does seem odd Dallas passed on Moss.

Dallas Cowboys Random Thoughts

I must admit, I still believe Dallas gave up way too much (a good cornerback in Patrick Henry) to get 36-year-old journeyman quarterback Jon Kitna. True, the Detroit Lions are the NFL’s equivalent of the Los Angeles Clippers and true he didn’t have much help, but I keep wondering if it was a good idea to acquire him.

The logic, of course, is to get a seasoned backup to complement Tony Romo and to give the Cowboys a fighting chance in games if Romo goes down with a broken finger or broken heart courtesy of bombshell girlfriend Jessica Simpson.

Well, as Dallascowboys.com’s Rob Phillips reported, Kitna looked good in a recent workout. Accurate passes and getting the ball downfield. We’ll see once pre-season begins.

—

Does Isaiah Stanback have all the tools to transition from college quarterback to NFL wide receiver? Yes. But he’s also dealt with lots of injuries. Word is, this is the season for Stanback to convince the Cowboys he’s worth keeping on the roster. We’ll see if that happens and we hope it does since Dallas seems to be taking the MacGyver Modify-on-the-fly approach to receivers.

You know: With the exception of Roy Williams, draft late, sign undrafted free agents, and draft QB’s and convert them to receiver. Who knows, if Cowboys owner Jerry Jones gets desperate enough, he may ask Romo to start throwing himself passes.

—

So far, so good for Cowboys running back Felix Jones. I was floored by how he did in his short rookie season. A healthy Jones could make for an outstanding running game as he platoons with Marion Barber.

Cowboys Accident and Another Stadium Name Idea

I was really floored the other day. I frequent a Christian forum, where we talk about sports in one section. The very first to offer condolences for the Cowboys players and coaches for their injuries was a Philadelphia Eagles fan!

It’s nice to see that in times like this differences can be put aside. Let’s remember that if the Eagles ever have something adverse happen and be prepared with condolences and good thoughts

—

This may go nowhere, but if Jerry Jones isn’t able to come up with a stadium sponsorship deal, maybe America’s Team could name their new stadium along the same vein of the seventies pop group America’s song “Horse With No Name.”

The Stadium With No Name.

Wishful thinking. The stadium will have corporate sponsorship, even if it’s something regional like Blue Bell Stadium.

For those of you not aware, Blue Bell is a very popular (but very expensive) brand of ice cream made in Texas. They have a great slogan: We eat all we can, and we sell the rest.

Dallas Cowboys’ Approach in NFL Draft More about Character

When reading about the Dallas Cowboys, I usually head over to the San Antonio Express-News to read what America’s team beat writer, Tom Orsborn, has to say. He recently filed an article talking about how Dallas’ approach in the draft this year was different.

They chose to focus on character.

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Last year, Dallas took a chance and traded for Adam “Don’t Call Me Pacman” Jones to shore up their secondary.  Jones, who had been banned from the NFL due to off-the-field indiscretions, ended up being a bust, as he got into more problems and was later cut by Dallas. (Best wishes, Adam Jones, on making wise decisions in your life).

The same rang true for Tank Johnson. Brought in by Dallas after his less-than-amicable split with the Chicago Bears, Tank “tanked” in Big D and was let go.

Then there’s Terrell Owens, a gifted wide receiver with all the physical tools you’d could ask for. And while he has no criminal records and his neighbors talk about how nice a guy he is, he did seem to have large insecurity issues, dropped passes, an ego, dropped passes, and was cut.

The Buffalo Bills signed Owens to a one-year contract, which pretty much says it all: “Terrell, we’ll give you a job, but only a one-year deal so you can convince us why you deserve a multi-year contract.”

In other words, once T.O. receives lots of guaranteed Dead Presidents, then he’ll start whining about not getting enough passes in Buffalo, the weather, Buffalo wings, whether the team should move to Toronto, and so forth.

So, Orsborn wrote in a May 1 Express-News article that this class of Cowboys draftees gets high marks for character: few, if any, off-the-field problems. They’re hard workers and, best of all, there are literally no worries they’ll ever appear on The Jerry Springer Show to be confronted by a jilted ex-girlfriend or, for whatever reason, a deranged Nazi Eskimo Satan worshiper. No worries that they’ll be served by a Friend of the Court for child support.

That’s refreshing, and I hope the character breeds leadership. That was something that seemed to be in short supply for the Cowboys last year. You need a defensive player to tell his teammates that their performance in a game is unacceptable, and you need an assertive leader on offense (hint, hint, paging Tony Romo) to sometimes tell receivers to shut up and catch the ball.*

Admittedly, I was less than impressed with this draft. Only one wide receiver taken, and he’s a long shot to make the team.

Dallas chose to trade out of the first round and take their chances in the later rounds. Yes, there have been notable first round busts over the years, like Jeff George, Tony Mandarich**, Tim Couch, and Aundray Bruce. But for every Tom Brady taken in the sixth round, there are plenty more sixth rounders who perform like they were taken, well, in the sixth round.

That being said, only time will tell. NFL drafts are notorious crap shoots.

 

* For all the griping he did last season about not getting enough passes thrown his way, over the past two seasons, Owens actually had more passes thrown his way than Jason Witten. Guess who caught more? You guessed it—Witten.

** While Mandarich was a notorious bust in the NFL, he now has his own photography business. About a year ago, I e-mailed him and wished him luck on this venture, and he was kind enough to write back and thank me.

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