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BREAKING NEWS! Brandon Marshall Wants to Not Play for YOU!
Published: June 16, 2009
In his statement, Marshall announced that he is offering an astonishing 100 percent no-money-back guarantee and a solemn oath to embarrass the bejeezes out of any team who is looking for a talented wide receiver who will play at least five games per season.
Here is an excerpt from his statement:
"I just want you all to know [stumbles, hurts old person], that I will do whatever I can [pauses, teeters] to help your team [vomits, checks pocket for car keys], but I do have other responsibilities." Marshall failed to elaborate on what those responsibilities might be.
A reporter familiar with the star wideout speculated that Marshall either meant helping needy children at the Darrent Williams Teen Center or helping children off a rapidly spinning merry-go-round with a motorized vehicle of his choosing...
Read Complete Article at Bleacher Report - NFL
Article Source: BleacherReport.com
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