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Gollumchick: He Wants His Precious

Published: April 26, 2009

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Bill Bellichick’s bulk, cloaked in frayed sweats, sharply contrasts the sinewy stature of Gollum in his loin cloth, but I imagine their inner workings are identical.

The 2007 season matured into the epic battle of Super Bowl XLII.  

Weekly installments of headlines streamed out of New England beginning with the week one taping incident.  The Pats rolled on through their historic season like an Ork Army—demolishing every formidable opponent under a hefty heap of offense.   

Finishing the season with a perfect record, Bellichick’s legion set it’s sights on the Lombardi.  

“We wants it, we needs it.  Must have the precious.”  

Eli Manning looked every inch Frodoesque as he stood tall against all odds and drove his team to victory against the Pats.  Bellichick marched off the field before the last seconds ticked off the clock.  

I picture him in the tunnel growling, “They stole it from us, sneaky little Hobbitses!”

The 2009 season has dawned, finding Gollumchick once again orchestrating his assault in the Pats’ draft war room.  

“Come to Smegol.”  

He has shown himself to be relentless.  

I think that this season he’ll do everything in his power to get his “precious.”

 


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