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Sebastian Jankowski Kicks Football To The Moon (Satire)
Published: December 26, 2009
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Oakland Raiders kicker Sebastian Janikowski set a personal record earlier this week. Janikowski, the power-kicking, alcohol-abusing, left-footed place kicker for the Oakland Raiders actually kicked a ball to the moon.
“It was pretty cool,” said Jankowski in an interview after the kick.
Janikowski, who had always claimed in practice that he could kick a football to the moon, had never been taken seriously on the attempt. After Janikowski’s game-winning extra point against Denver on Sunday he was called out on the claim. The holder, Shane Lechler, immediately challenged him to his claim of sending a football into the outer space.
“I was a little bit confused right away,” Said Janikowski. “I was just excited that my kick was the reason we beat Denver and all he was thinking about was that.”
Lechler has never believed the claims of Janikowski sending a football to the moon.
“I mean get real, the moon? Does he have any idea how far that is?” Lechler asked.
“I’m not too sure, but if I was too guess I’d say 221,463 miles (356,334 kilometers) at perigee (closest approach to Earth) to 251,968 miles (405,503 kilometers) at apogee (farthest point). The average distance from the moon to the Earth is 238,857 miles (384,392 kilometers),” Janikowski replied.
Surprisingly, Janikowski was right on. His knowledge of the distance to the moon made Lechler nervous, thinking maybe he was more serious about it then he thought.
“Man, kicking a ball to the moon? That’d be crazy! Imma be there for dat one though!! That’d be da bomb!” added Raiders rookie reciever Louis Murphy. Murphy once claimed that at Florida, Tim Tebow once ate a six-pack and a pound from taco bell before a game with Georgia. No one seemed to care.
Janikowsk took Lechler up on the deal. On Tuesday night, Janikowski, Lechler, and Louis Murphy went to the practice field to settle this. Murphy had to be the long-snapper on the try and did exceptionally well in Lechler’s eyes. “I’m going to suggest to coach Cable that Murphy does our long-snapping the rest of the year,” added Lechler.
After that was taken care of Janikowski got set to take aim for the moon. After a great snap by Murphy and excellent hold by Lechler, and shot of Jack Daniels by Janikowski, he set himself for the biggest kick of his career. He kicked a football all the way to the moon.
Lechler couldn’t believe it. Janikowski celebrated with Murphy as Lechler watched in disbelief.
“Well, I guess I’ll know better then to question anything Sebastian Janikowski ever says again,” added Lechler.
N.A.S.A. got word of this historic kick and is going to offer Janikowski a 3-year deal kicking satellites up to the moon after the season. They really think it will give the United States space program an advantage on the rest of the world.
Read more NFL news on BleacherReport.com
