Snyder and the Redskins Need To Copy the Atlanta Falcons 2008 Blueprint

When the Washington Redskins face the Atlanta Falcons next week, they need to take a look at the Falcons blueprint from 2008 on how to turn this franchise around.

Lets first look back at the 2007 Atlanta Falcons. Bobby Petrino in 2007 came in to be the head coach.  He had never been a head coach in the NFL before. He did have experience as a QB coach and offensive coordinator with the Jacksonvile Jaguars. Petrino also had coaching experience in college as a head coach. He had never coached as the main man for an NFL team and would soon realize how hard it can be for a first time head coach.

Petrino had been working with star quarterback Michael Vick to get ready for the 2007 season. Vick had a lot of talent, but never was a guy who could carry a team on his back with his arm. Then all of a sudden, dog fighting allegations doomed the Falcons before the season had even started. In August of 2007, Vick was suspended indefinitely without pay after pleading guilty to federal charges in connection with a dog fighting ring.

As the season started, the Falcons felt the loss of Michael Vick and it hurt the locker room. Players were upset with the teams poor play, players called out their head coach, and fans were upset that a team with that much talent had fallen so far back with the loss of Vick. Petrino as the season went on loss his team. On December 11, 2007, Petrino resigned as coach of the Atlanta Falcons with a 3-10 record. The same day he took over as head coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks. The Falcons finished 4-12 and had a team with players that didnt believe in the team or were overrated and didnt have the talent to take the team forward.

Fast forward to 2008. Team owner Arthur Blank knew this team needed changes. He hired Thomas Dimitroff to be his general manager. The team brought in Jacksonville defensive coordinator Mike Smith to be the head coach. The team traded overrated and loud mouth cornerback DeAngelo Hall to the Oakland Raiders for a 2008 2nd round and 2009 5th round draft picks. They released a lot of players to rebuild their team. They signed break out runner Michael Turner to step in and be their starting running back.

The Falcons in the 2008 NFL Draft drafted franchise quarterback Matt Ryan with the third overall pick. They also traded up and drafted offensive tackle Sam Baker with the 21st overall pick. They also drafted players like lineback Curtis Lofton, wide receiver Harry Douglas, and safety Thomas DeCoud among others. The Falcons in one offseason had rebuild their image. In 2008, the Falcons went 11-5 and lost in the Wild Card round of the playoffs to the eventual NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals.

Now, as the Washington Redskins head into week nine, after this week’s bye, they go into Atlanta to play a Falcon team that was once much like this year’s Redskins. A head coach that was overmatched and out of his league. The players were either overpaid, overrated, or just not good. They had no stable quarterback situation. The fans were so upset that they started to question if the team would ever be a contender again. Does this sound alot like a team that plays in the nation’s capital?

The Redskins have a great opportunity this offseason to follow the Atlanta Falcon playbook and have a shot to contend in 2010. Dan Snyder just needs to follow what the Falcons did. He needs to fire Vinny Cerrato and Jim Zorn. Then bring in a GM that can bring in players through the draft and free agency that fit what this team wants to do. The GM also needs to start to fix the cap with players who are not overrated or overpaid. 

Snyder also needs to hire a head coach that can light a fire in the Redskins. The perfect coach for this team is Bill Cowher. If the Skins cant lure Cowher to DC they need to hire a coach like him. He doesnt need to be a big name guy. Just a coach that can let his coaches and players do their job and make sure the team plays hard on every snap no matter what the score is. The coach also needs to fix the constant problem of players like Brian Orakpo being played out of position. The Washington Redskins need the most out of every player on their roster.

In the draft, the Redskins need to look to upgrade the offense. The defense has the talent, but they just need a defensive coordinator that can get the most out of the unit. If the Washington Redskins can get a franchise QB and a offensive lineman or two in this year’s draft, they can contend sooner then most think. A guy like Sam Bradford or Jake Locker comes to mind. Both qb’s have the talent to become a franchise quarterback in my opinion. I’d go a step further and upgrade the offensive line more than the Falcons did.

The Skins should trade a draft pick from the 2011 draft to get another high draft pick in 2010, like an offensive lineman. If the Skins use their second round pick this year and a added pick acquired through a trade on the offensive line, they can get some much needed youth. I mean the type of youth that has potenial and not the type of youth that has practice squad and camp fodder talent starting along the offensive line.  

If the Washington Redskins can follow the blueprint laid out by the Atlanta Falcons, they will take the first step in moving this franchise back to becoming a team that can actually make some noise in the playoffs.

 

 

 

 

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Come To Think Of It, Bob’s Fearless Forecast: Bears Win Big Vs. Cleveland

Okay, I admit that when it comes to prognostication, picking the Bears to beat the Browns on Sunday in Soldier Field doesn’t exactly rank among the most provocative. In fact, I understand that many feel it is a downright slam dunk.

Still, given the way the team failed to show up in Cincinnati last week, predicting a Bears blowout is anything but a certainty. Yet, don’t worry Bears fans. This week you will be smiling.

Yes, the offensive line is not blocking well. The defensive front is getting little pressure on the QB. And that secondary…well, let’s just say that free safety remains a huge concern, especially in a cover-2 defensive scheme.

But I do think that returning to the comforts of home will be a welcome respite for our Bears. After two miserable games on the road, they will be happy to be playing in front of a friendly crowd and eating home cooking again.

Of course, that crowd won’t remain so friendly if the Bears start slowly. I wrote a piece recently that said that one of the biggest problems the Bears face are the expectations they’ve created with the Jay Cutler acquisition. Many delusional Bears fans actually thought that alone would make us a lock for the Super Bowl.

Smarter fans like you and I knew better. Not that we weren’t hoping that the team could make the playoffs, and in fact they still could, but we understand that one man can’t do it all.

Especially when that one man is making mistakes like Cutler has. No, this 3-3 season is not his fault, despite the interceptions. But even if Cutler was playing like Peyton Manning, Drew Brees or Tom Brady, they would still need more weapons around him.

How the Bears are going to obtain those weapons while fixing the offensive and defensive line is a subject for another day. Right now, let’s focus on the upcoming opponent.

Ah yes, the Cleveland Browns. They are 1-6 and rank near the bottom of the NFL in most categories.

The offense is averaging the second-fewest number of yards per game and the defense is allowing the most yards in the league. Things have gotten so bad that fans are planning a protest prior to their Monday night game on November 16.

The offense has scored four touchdowns in seven games. Meanwhile, I’m sure they are licking their chops with the thought of facing a Bears defense that looked like a sieve against the Bengals last weekend.

But trust me, it isn’t going to happen. The Browns will not only lose this game, they will get blown out. Expect Cutler to throw for 400 yards and the offense to break some big plays. Think 44-14.

For as bad as things are for the Browns, they won’t get any sympathy from our team. The Bears win this game or the season is over. It’s as simple as that, come to think of it.

 

 

 

 

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Vince Young: A Talented Quarterback, but Ultimately Flawed

Poor Vince.

As we all should know by now, Vince Young has once again been handed the reins to the Tennessee Titans offense as they prepare to face the Jacksonville Jaguars, a team they have already lost to during their 0-6 slide and the same team that started all the problems for Young last year.

Or, at least, the same team that exposed his problems.

I am sure we all remember the game, where Young threw two interceptions—the second one booed loudly—before inexplicably removing himself from the game with just over four minutes left to play.

He was limping like his leg was bothering him, but in all likelihood it was more the injury to his ego that took him out.

Because you see, Young does not like to lose. And he sure doesn’t like to be held responsible for a team’s poor performance.

Unfortunately, this was not something he had much exposure to prior to his NFL debut.

Going into the contest with Jacksonville, his supporters proclaim he has changed, that he grew up after being benched by coach Jeff Fisher and forced to watch as the Titans were successful without him. They say that he has been patiently waiting for his shot to return to the forefront of attention and prove to the world, so to speak, that he is a different Vince Young.

Of course, his petulant attitude during the summer, when he as much as demanded to be played or traded, would say otherwise.

But honestly, it’s not his attitude that is going to be his biggest problem.

His biggest problem is going to be his inability to adjust, his unwillingness to change. That is what will ultimately end the career of Vince Young.

Some supporters want to compare him to Donovan McNabb—a big, strong agile quarterback who has the ability to make plays with his legs as well as his arm.

Some have even gone so far as to invoke the name of Randall Cunningham, the former Eagles quarterback who was such a prolific runner that he often led his team in both rushing and passing yards.

OK, maybe I’m remembering Tecmo Randall, but you get the picture.

I’m more inclined to compare him to Kordell “Slash” Stewart, who had a flash of success in Pittsburgh before his performance and production took a nosedive, resulting in a career that saw him lose three starting positions with three different teams before ultimately being released in 2005, never to be considered by another team again.

Their careers are so strikingly similar, it almost seems scripted.

Both wear No. 10 in honor of their mothers: Stewart’s mother died of lung cancer when he was 10; Young’s mother’s birthday is June 10.

Both played in college systems that were designed around their particular abilities; Stewart played in an option-heavy system in Colorado, and Young’s ability to run precipitated a change in Texas from a traditional I-formation system to a three-wide shotgun formation, which ostensibly gave the Longhorns more “options” in play selection but ultimately could have been called “Let Vince Run.”

Which he did, amassing over 3,000 rushing yards in his three years as a quarterback—he was redshirted his freshman year so he could “learn” the playbook. He did have considerable success passing in his senior year, throwing for just over 3,000 yards and ending the season as the top-rated college quarterback. 

Stewart was also a prolific runner in college, racking up nearly 1,300 yards rushing. He had a bit more success throughout his career passing, racking up over 2,000 yards each of the three years he was a starter.

But both quarterbacks were seen as a double-threat during their college days.

In their first full seasons as starting quarterbacks in the NFL—Stewart in 1997 and Young in 2007, 10 years apart—they led their respective teams to playoff berths before both fell short of making it to the Super Bowl.

Both quarterbacks invoked declarations of “revolutionizing” the quarterback position with their ability to run and pass as defenses struggled to defend against them.

Following their respective first playoff seasons, both quarterbacks struggled to repeat their performances, because NFL defensive coordinators did figure them out. Young made it one game before injury and fan fickleness prompted his ouster; on the other hand, Stewart was able to hang on for two seasons, going 7-9 in 1998 and 6-10 in 1999 before being replaced by Kent Graham the following year.

And it is here that Stewart’s career truly becomes a harbinger for Young’s future.

Stewart regained his starting job after the Steelers started 1-3 in 2000. He was able to rally the team to a 9-7 record that year, barely missing the playoffs. The following year he led the Steelers to a 13-3 record, earning them a playoff berth, quieting the naysayers who had proclaimed that he wasn’t capable of leading the Steelers to victory, and taking the Steelers to the AFC Championship game.

But they lost the game, thus beginning a three-year odyssey that resulted in Stewart’s ultimate departure from professional football. Stewart struggled again in the 2002 season, and after throwing an interception in the end zone against the Cleveland Browns three games into the season, he was permanently replaced by Tommy Maddox and cut the following year.

Young is taking over for a team that is in the throes of a horrendous losing streak. While it is unlikely that the Titans will finish 9-7, it is mathematically possible. Next year, who knows? The Titans could again go 13-3 and make the playoffs.

The question is, does Vince Young really have the ability to adjust? Will he remain a one-dimensional quarterback, or will he develop into a well-rounded leader?

The jury is still out on that question. Some say he did it at Texas, so he can do it in the NFL, but that is an apples-to-oranges comparison. College teams are rife with players who graduate and go on to have wonderful careers in other fields; the NFL is populated by players who are at the top of their game.

So far, VY hasn’t shown that he intends to play any differently than he did before losing his job. And there’s the rub.

Young’s college success hinged on him being allowed—even expected—to win the game with his legs. NFL defensive coordinators may get taken in by that at first, but they will adjust. Once that happens, and it will happen quickly , mind you, will Vince be able to settle in to learning a passing system?

Or will he run his way right out of the NFL?

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NFL Week Eight: My Three Wishes

 

1. That the NFL ban Larry Johnson for a sensible amount of time

 

I don’t know where to begin with this one. It is hard to even comprehend someone acting as stupidly as Johnson did last weekend. The Internet has been around long enough for even the biggest simpleton to realise that nothing you say on there can be regarded as private. To use it to hurl homophobic abuse and to criticize your coach, no matter what your personal views, is just inviting trouble.

 

Realistically, Johnson’s days in Kansas are numbered. A long ban—and, to be consistent, Roger Goodell must surely ban him—would just allow him to play the martyr. That the man doesn’t like his coach and has utterly contemptible views shouldn’t prevent him plying his trade in the long run, but it ought to earn him at least a couple of weeks off to reflect upon what he has done.

 

2. That Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson are fit this week

 

You’re coming off the worst season in NFL history, you’ve got an exciting new coach and, perhaps most importantly, you’re playing a side who are, arguably, playing even worse this year than you did in 2008. Your best chance of another morale-boosting win all season, you might think. And then your rookie quarterback and No. 1 wideout go down injured.

 

I don’t want to see anyone beat up on the Rams, who at least (unlike the 2008 Lions) seem to have a long term plan for the franchise. I’m also not sure that it is good for the NFL to have another 0-16 team so soon.

 

But when you need a bit of a lift and your two best offensive players might not be able to play, it’s a bit too much. The game might well turn out to be a festival of ineptness, but it ought to be a game where both inept teams are at full strength

 

 

3. That the Cheeseheads remember the good times and not just the bad

 

I am sure that Brett Favre expects a barrage of abuse from Packers fans this Sunday. I’m also sure that those fans will never forgive him for the way that he left their team. I hope, though, that they also remember all of the good things that he did for the franchise, including being the leader of one of the best sides in NFL history.

 

He might have made a fool of himself with the manner of his leaving and his subsequent behaviour, but he’s also a guaranteed first time Hall of Famer who made his name playing for them. I hope that memories are not really as short as they seem to be in Green Bay

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Five Horror Movies that Resemble the Cleveland Browns 2009 Season

It could be worse.

Four words that usually become an ironic prophecy in any horror movie.

With Halloween upon us, and with the Browns sitting at a dismal 1-6, it’s appropriate to compare this team to several different horror movies that have graced the Silver Screen over the years.

Horror movies tap into our base fears and play up those fears to achieve a dramatic effect. That effect usually results in a scream or a jump and gets the adrenalin pumping.

Sports tap into our competitive nature and play up that competitiveness to achieve that adrenalin rush our day-to-day activities usually deny us.

The Browns 2009 season has resembled several horror movies. The Browns defense has given up more than 1,000 yards in its last two games while the offense has only gained 336 yards.

That’s not just bad, it’s terrifying.

Browns fans now are falling into two camps, those who counsel patience with a bad roster and lack of talent, and those who are sick of the excuses and want somebody to do SOMETHING positive with this team.

The former group believe head coach Eric Mangini needs more time and that it’s not all his fault. The latter believe Mangini is the root of all evil and only his head on a platter will release the demons that have possessed the team.

Whatever camp you fall in, here are five horror movies to watch on Halloween that resemble the 2009 Cleveland Browns.

Begin Slideshow

Oakland Raiders: If The Unorthodox Works, Why Not Run With It?

The Raiders have never been like the rest of the NFL.

No kidding…I can hear a few fans already saying that, or something cuter.

But realize it, for all it’s fun, it has worked better for this team to embrace the unorthodox.

Take a look at the team in 1980. If you were a fan back then, weren’t you a little shocked when Ken Stabler was sent packing? Or Jack Tatum? Earlier in the past, John Madden left, for medical reasons, Fred Biletnikoff was gone and Al Davis had a solution for Stabler….Dan Pastorini!

Who?

Dan Pastorini, for the uninformed, was the third quarterback taken back in 1971, third player overall that year. He had the ability to air it out, something Al Davis loves. Yes, another ‘no kidding’ statement is warranted.

So the team goes into 1980 with a retread QB, most of the critics had us pegged for third or fourth in the division. Through the first four games, Oakland would go 2-2, until a game against Kansas City would alter our fortunes.

Dan Pastorini would go down injured, and up would step Jim Plunkett.

Right about now, how many fans out there were wondering again, what does this guy have left in the tank? Pastorini was the number three pick in the draft….Plunkett was the number one pick that year. He had won the Heisman back at Stanford. He struggled with the Patriots and then fumbled with the 49ers. He was active in four games during 1979 and was hoping for a chance to start.

During that game against Kansas City, he took over the game and threw five interceptions.

Still loyal?

At this point, the Raiders are 2-3, have lost their starting QB for the season, a rookie named Marc Wilson is deemed too young to start for the Raiders and Jim Plunkett starts the following week against the San Diego Chargers, running a high-powered offense.

Oakland would win the game, 38-24, go to .500, and then wouldn’t lose another game until week 12.

As a side note, Dave Casper would go on to leave the team after the Chargers game, moving over with Stabler and Tatum with the Houston Oilers.

Somehow through all of this, the Raiders would go onto the playoffs, beat the Oilers, and win the Super Bowl over the Eagles.

Now, compare this team to the modern-day Raiders…how do you think Al Davis would handle the chaos that exists? Or for that matter, any modern day team?

Al Davis would go out, find an assortment of pieces and as the season goes on, if pieces don’t work, go down with injuries, etc, the players picked up should be able to step up.

There are some teams where if a key player is lost the team would suddenly be in trouble. Do you think the Indianapolis Colts are as dangerous with Jim Sorgi as they are with Peyton Manning? Or the Seahawks, now that we’ve seen what happens without Matt Hasselbeck?

For the Raiders, some unorthodox thinking works quite well.

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Titans Vs. Jaguars: Like Ships Passing in The Night

In a sense, the Tennessee Titans will be looking in a mirror come Sunday.  

A mirror of their former selves.  

The Jacksonville Jaguars are a gritty, hard-nosed football team that plays a full sixty minutes of football.  

A team that, despite its historic loitering in the purgatory of mediocrity, is on the rise.  

Not long ago, all of the above could have very well described the Titans.  Not so much, anymore.  

A few weeks ago, the Jaguars not only beat Tennessee, they embarrassed them.  The Houston Texans’ flirtations with success notwithstanding, it was a changing of the guard of sorts.  

Nowadays, it’s Jacksonville that has taken the quasi-dubious mantle of Indianapolis’ kid brother in the division.  

All things considered, the Jaguars are playing for the obvious reasons this week.  

Playoff seeding and the division are all on the line.  The Colts look tough, but there’s still plenty of football yet to be played.  

The Titans, on the other hand, have a slightly more complicated situation.  At what point is this disaster of a season written off?  

At what point do they eschew all conventional wisdom and experiment, in the name of next year?   

“One game at a time” is a tired and trite cliché.  Mathematically, Tennessee still has an infinitesimally small shot at the playoffs.  

But anyone with a shred of sanity who’s seen them all but roll over this year knows the unlikelihood of such an event happening.  

Yes, these Titans will be playing for pride; against the Jaguars and beyond.  But other than that, how does a player find motivation?

Further thickening the plot is the fact that many of the aging veterans on the squad are nearing the end of their contracts.  Much has been made of the Vince Young storylines, but the prospect of Keith Bulluck and Nick Harper departing quite possibly bears more significance.

Win, lose, or draw, this is probably the last we’ll see of this particular lineup of Titans. One always hears about the narrow window of opportunity, and frankly, last year was essentially it for Tennessee.  

Make no mistake, they will be back in contention eventually.  The way the NFL is set up all but guarantees it.  

But chances are, there will be new faces next year as a rebuilding effort commences.  

So, enjoy the farewell tour.  Savor every game.  

And scratch your head at every loss.  

These Titans don’t get better, they don’t get worse, but they sure stay interesting.    

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Lack of “Franchise” Defensive Lineman Detroit Lions’ Bane for Decades

Football has had a fascination with the morose when it comes to handing out monikers to the game’s greatest defensive platoons.

We’ve had Steel Curtains and Doomsday and Purple People Eaters. There were the Killer Bees down in Miami.

Detroit and Los Angeles—when the NFL actually had a franchise there—shared the alliterate name Fearsome Foursome.

Pro football games are won in the trenches, they say. Rare is the championship team that doesn’t possess a solid line, both on offense and defense.

Lions fans will tell you that the team has been looking for its franchise quarterback for some fifty years or so. That’s difficult to refute, but how about a franchise defensive lineman?

The Lions haven’t had one of those around in these parts since the Carter Administration.

His name was Al “Bubba” Baker and he came from Colorado State and at his best, he appeared in the backfield frequently, as well as in quarterbacks’ nightmares.

Bubba Baker (pictured above) was, at times, simply unblockable. He played defensive end but he had the body of an NBA power forward: long and strong. Bubba would line up so far away from his tackle mate that you’d have thought the other guy had a liverwurst and garlic sandwich just before the game.

But all Bubba was doing was getting a running start.

Baker had, in 1978, 23 sacks. As a rookie. And a whole bunch of near misses.

Bubba Baker, with three straight Pro Bowl appearances (1978-80), anchored a defensive line in Detroit that was pretty damn good.

It was the early-1980s when they started to call the Lions’ front four “The Silver Rush.” Not a cataclysmic football nickname, but a nickname nonetheless.

You had Baker and William Gay on the ends, and Dave Pureifory and Doug English inside. Pureifory, from Eastern Michigan University, was so mean and nasty that his sadistic behavior in 1979’s training camp almost caused the Lions’ No. 1 draft pick, offensive tackle Keith Dorney, to quit. Dorney said so in his book.

Gay was a converted tight end who made a Pro Bowl as a D-lineman and who teamed with Baker to form two towering bookends. Pureifory was short, stubby, and ferocious—and English was just plain good, and a consummate professional.

English, a Texan, retired after the 1979 season to go into the oil business, but returned to the NFL in 1981.

The Lions traded Baker to the St. Louis Cardinals after the 1982 season, after Bubba grew tired of the Lions, and they him.

And not since have the Lions truly had a stud on the line of scrimmage, on the defensive side of the ball.

The Lions have been a bad football team for a long time with a lot of warts, but if they could ever plug someone into their defensive line who was top grade, you watch how much better their defense plays.

Sadly, the Lions haven’t even really tried to address this gaping hole, this empty chamber in their popgun.

Only twice since 1992 have the Lions selected a defensive lineman in the first round of the NFL Draft.

I’m sorry, but that’s shocking and perplexing.

Here’s a deficiency the Lions have had for decades, and it routinely gets the short shrift when it comes to the draft.

The Lions’ lack of a playmaker—a bona fide game changer—on their front four has contributed more than anything to the pathetic overall defensive play in this town.

The Lions have no true pass rusher. No run-stopping behemoth. No freak of nature with the strength of Atlas and the speed of a gazelle who can seem to be out of a play, then traverse 15-20 yards in a heartbeat and run a ball carrier down.

And they haven’t, for too long to be respectable.

I’ve said it before—if there’s a team in pro sports today who needs help at any position more than the Lions need help on their defensive line, that team is merely a figment of a vivid imagination.

Oh, how the Lions should be combing the college campuses at this very moment, seeking the biggest, baddest, fastest, meanest, quickest, strongest down lineman college football has to offer. They’re likely to qualify for, once again, a top-five pick in next year’s draft. They should absolutely use it on someone whose uniform number is in the 90s.

There’ve been some impostors passing through Detroit, who we’ve elevated beyond their actual abilities, mainly because we’ve wanted them to be successful so badly.

Shaun Rogers and Jerry Ball leap to mind.

Rogers had potential. He was a man child who could have owned Detroit, if he would have kept himself in shape and his mouth shut—both to keep from talking and eating. His moments of dominance were absolute but terribly fleeting.

Ball, from the early-1990s era, was a solid nose tackle who we thought was an elite lineman as a Lion. But he went to Oakland and from afar we could see what we could not because of the trees in Detroit: that he was good but not great.

But beyond those two players, the Lions haven’t had anyone remotely close to being dominant or a star in the league, playing defensive line, since Bubba Baker’s day.

This has got to kill the old-timers who remember when the Lions routinely fielded tenacious, impenetrable d-lines.

The Fearsome Foursome of Sam Williams, Roger Brown, Alex Karras and Darris McCord—they swallowed up ball carriers and quarterbacks and were often the only thing that could slow down the vaunted Green Bay Packers’ running game.

Hell, that was only almost 50 years ago. What’s the hurry to repeat history?

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Halloween Costumes for NFL Personalities

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR NFL PLAYERS

 

Since today is a big day for kids and dentists worldwide, we sent our top stealth reporters to find out what some NFL players and personalities are dressing up for Halloween this year.  Among the ones we have heard from:

 

1) Ted Ginn Jr., Miami Dolphins : Ted has evidently selected a ghost costume to match his presence on the field for the Dolphins.

 

2) Bud Adams, owner, Tennessee Titans : Bud is dressing up as Vince Young since he essentially forced Jeff Fisher’s hand in starting him tomorrow against the Jaguars.

 

3) Jeff Fischer, Coach, Tennessee Titans : Jeff informs us that he is dressing up as Freddy Krueger because someone is going to get torn “a new ***hole if we don’t win soon.”

 

4) Phillip Rivers, San Diego Chargers : Phillip has chosen General George Custer arrogantly headed to clean up a mess at “Little Big Horn.”

 

5) DeSean Jackson, Philadelphia Eagles :  The Flash.

 

6) Jim Zorn, Washington Redskins : Davy Crockett, now that he got his hands on a coonskin hat.

 

7) Wade Phillips, Dallas Cowboys : Wade says he is dressing up as Andy Reid. (If he can just gobble down a few more Jimmy Dean’s pork sausages.)

 

8) Andy Reid, Philadelphia Eagles : Andy has decided to dress up as Humpty Dumpty since Pavarotti has passed away.

 

9) Chad Henne, Miami Dolphins : Chad says he is dressing up as Jon Kitna (not so subtle comparison, there).

 

10) Steve Spagnoulo, St. Louis Rams : Anything with a mask that entirely covers his head.

 

11) Brad Childress : An airline stewardess wearing heavy makeup. Oh, wait a minute. He’s already done that.

 

12) LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers : The Invisible Man.

 

13) Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chiefs : Harvey Milk.

 

14) Eli Manning, New York Giants : Big brother Peyton (his stats are better).

 

15) and finally, Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears: Eb Dawson from Green Acres .

 

 

Happy Halloween.

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Chris J. Nelson’s 2009 Week Eight NFL Game Predictions

After sweeping the 1 o’clock games (admittedly, most were gimmes), I pretty much bombed the later games, including a switched pick from New Orleans to Miami that didn’t pay off in the end.

Last week’s record: 9-4
Season record: 71-32 (69 percent)

Texans over Bills—Houston’s offense is firing on all cylinders, while the Bills are a mess despite a win against an equally disappointing Panthers team last week. The Texans have to be the pick.

Bears over Browns—Chicago has been horribly inconsistent and forgot to show up against the Bengals last week, but the Browns are the worst team in the league and shouldn’t be picked against anyone.

Cowboys over Seahawks—I’m inclined to believe Seattle’s route of the Jaguars a few weeks ago was an aberration, and I expect a hot Dallas offense to put up way too many points for Matt Hasselbeck and Co. to manage.


Rams over Lions—What an ugly game this should be. It’s hard to pick a winner here, but I like the potential offense of Marc Bulger and Steven Jackson better than the alternative.

Colts over 49ers—It’s hard to imagine anyone going undefeated, but it’s also hard to pick against Indy right now. Alex Smith had an impressive game last week, but he’s no match for Peyton Manning.

Dolphins over Jets—Miami lost a heartbreaker against New Orleans last week, but did certainly play a good half of football. I think the running game gets going again against the Jets.

Giants over Eagles—This is a very tough matchup that could completely go either way, but I’ve been more impressed with the Giants this season and think they’ll prevail.

Ravens over Broncos—Baltimore presents one of the best opportunities for Denver to lost a game this season, and I like their chance this week.

Jaguars over Titans—Tennessee probably won’t go 0-16, but it’s hard to pick them on any given week, especially when they are starting Rhodes Scholar Vince Young.

Chargers over Raiders—There is just no reason to ever pick the Raiders, ever. JaMarcus Russell will lead his team to defeat yet again.

Packers over Vikings—Minnesota got the best of Green Bay in their first meeting due to the Packers’ lack of a line, but that unit is playing better and they’ll have homefield advantage. If there is any justice in this world, Brett Favre will get demolished this week.

Cardinals over Panthers—Carolina just can’t seem to get things going, even with their running game, so I don’t expect them to be able to match the amount of points Arizona will put up.

Falcons over Saints—The Saints have to lose sometime (don’t they?) and I’m picking the big upset from the Falcons on the road.

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