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New York Jets Have Nothing to be Proud of After Colts Surrender Football Game

Published: December 28, 2009

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This is not how a team would like to win a game.

Sure, a win is a win, and if you root, or work, or play for the New York Jets, you take every win you can get.

But when the greatest quarterback in the game is removed because Colts head coach Jim Caldwell is willing to treat the remaining games as preseason, you can’t feel good about it.

Head Coach Rex Ryan and the Jets didn’t pump their chests after the game. They were extremely happy to win and even happier that they had somehow, perhaps by way of osmosis, stumbled into the playoff picture as a possible five seed.

This means that if the Jets beat the Cincinnati Bengals next weekend, the Jets, with all of their warts, will be in the playoffs.

The Jets were down 15-10, and the Colts were legitimately trying to win this game, when Peyton Manning was making completions to Austin Collie and Dallas Clark, when Joseph Addai split the tackles like Moses split the Red Sea for a touchdown to make it 7-0, Colts.

Then, Colts head coach Jim Caldwell decided that he didn’t care about a 15-0 record, deciding to take the biggest gamble of his young career by removing starters from the game.

With the Colts likely to rest its starters again in the regular season finale at Buffalo, and with a bye in the first round of the playoffs, the Colts will go almost a month without playing a serious game.

In came backup quarterback Curtis Painter and the rest of the Colts’ second string playmakers.

The Jets took full advantage of the fact that Manning was out of the game, smacked around Painter and stole the game like a bully taking candy from a defenseless baby.

What the Colts did on Sunday was embarrassing.

It made a farce out of the cliche made famous by ex-Jets coach Herman Edwards, “You play to win the game.”

The Colts should have played this game as if it were an important regular season game for them, which in so many respects, it was. The Colts need to keep their momentum going if they intend to go on a Super Bowl run.

Manning knew that, which is why he appeared to be deeply annoyed on the sideline after Caldwell and offensive coordinator Tom Moore took him out of the game.

As for the Jets, we are left with more questions rather than answers.

As I listen to the radio this morning, Jet fans call up WFAN asserting the Jets “deserved” to win this game.

Jet fans had better simmer down.

Sure, it is exciting that the Jets defeated the unbeaten Indianapolis Colts, but there is only one problem: The Jets didn’t beat the 14-0 Colts, they beat the Single-A Colts.

Moreover, there is no such thing as “deserving to win” a game. The only thing the Jets deserve is to sit at home and watch the playoffs considering what a joke this team has been all season long.

This is a team that has toyed with its fan base from the start of the season. They got off to a 3-0 start, backing up the tough talk from its Ryan and players like Bart Scott and Kerry Rhodes.

Then the bottom fell out. Mark Sanchez started to look like the rawest of rookies, highlighted by a five interception performance in a 16-13 loss to the Bills.

The Jets defense couldn’t defend (e.g. Miami’s ferocious comeback on Monday night in early October).

Then, on Nov. 1, the special teams forgot how to tackle, especially the likes of Ted Ginn Jr.’s two kick-off returns for the Dolphins in the second meeting with the Gang Green.

Then there was Sanchez’s game opening interception against Jacksonville, which was later followed by the defense blowing a 22-21 lead to the Jags late in the fourth quarter.

This is the same Jets team that botched three field goals against the Falcons in week 15, only to watch Matt Ryan lead the Dirty Birds to the winning score.

And the Jets “deserve” to go to the playoffs?

I’m surprised that Rex Ryan didn’t experience a Jim Mora moment last night. “Playoffs? Playoffs?”

The Jets have been a mess in every sense of the word. Five gut wrenching losses, four of which were to key AFC opponents, should have meant nothing but doom.

Instead, the Ravens, Broncos, Dolphins, and Jaguars all decided to give the Jets a huge Christmas gift by losing their respective games.

Don’t blame the Jets for being in this position; they were essentially put in it. However, once the playoffs commence, the Jets will be a quick and easy out.

They are arguably the worst playoff team in the tournament this year.

In some ways the victory over Indianapolis, and, if Cincinnati rests its starters next week, a victory over the Bengals could create a false sense of security in this team.

A 9-7 finish and a playoff appearance will cause owner Woody Johnson and head coach Rex Ryan to back offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer, whose play calling and work with rookie Mark Sanchez is so suspect that it makes one wonder if the kid is learning anything.

Remember these statistics: the Jets are No. 21 in the NFL in total offense, and No. 30 in the league in passing.

It will also allow Johnson to keep GM Mike Tannenbaum, who, with the exception of Darrell Revis and Nick Mangold, hasn’t drafted many impact players to go along with the plethora of experienced veterans: Kellen Clemens, Danny Woodhead, and Vernon Gholston.

Hello!

It will make the Jets brass believe that Sanchez is farther along in his progress than he really is. The kid threw for only 106 yards on Sunday and didn’t leave the impression that he is close to turning the corner in his development.

Keep in mind this was against a second string Colts defense. He still runs around the field with “happy feet,” looks uncomfortable in the pocket, and makes stupid decisions.

In addition, it will give the Jets a reason to re-sign Braylon Edwards, who has dropped many key passes, like the two-point conversion against Jacksonville, and a potential 85-yard touchdown pass against Buffalo.

It will give the Jets a reason to boast about their number one ranked defense, which although good, is not a dominant defense. There really hasn’t been a dominant D in the NFL this year.

A dominant defense puts a lot of pressure up front on the opposing quarterback, and they close games out. The Jets D has coughed up three games in the fourth quarter and they are in the middle of the pack with 29 quarterback sacks.

Not exactly dominating.

Finally, it will give more reason for the Jets front office to push personal seat licensing down season ticket holders throats to see a football franchise that has been more of an embarrassment than a world beater over the past 41 years.

The Jets are not a playoff team this year.

Hell, they are not even that good. They got lucky.

Consider this: if the Colts actually had demonstrated some regard for the gamesmanship of the sport, the Jets would be 7-8 right now, staring at a long offseason full of reshuffling.

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How to Lose a Fantasy Football Championship

Published: December 27, 2009

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Second-guess yourself. Start your first round pick even though he’s listed as doubtful with an ankle injury.

Take down the championship banner hanging from your front porch. Cancel the parade. Call the newspaper and ask to remove the obituary for your opponent’s team from tomorrow’s edition.

Get terrible match-ups. Have too many of your players be on teams that have already clinched playoff spots, and therefore only play in the first half. Call the league commissioner and lobby for the season to be shortened. Say weird things, angry things, that make your commissioner second-guess inviting you back next season.

Forget to start a kicker.

Talk a lot of trash on the message board beforehand. Make remarks about your opponent’s fiance’s noticeable birth defect. Screen calls from your opponent. Call your opponent after the game and apologize, explaining that yes, you’d still like to go to his wedding.

Pick up a defense that has been mediocre all season, just because they have a favorable match-up. Pick up a back-up wide receiver, just because an advice column said he was a “strong buy.” Write an angry email to Brad Evans. Use poor grammar.

Over analyze the players you could have started instead. Look back over the draft, wishing you’d chosen Ray Rice. Complain about the scoring system. Claim that two point conversions aren’t worth nearly enough. Lament the advent of the forward pass. Arbitrarily place blame on Matt Millen.

Change your team name to something grumpy. NotInTheMood. ThisIsBS. IHateYouMattMillen.

Passive aggressively suggest the possibility of a Zionist conspiracy against your team.

Don’t shower or shave for days following the loss. Show up late to work. Reply “whatever” to any question that doesn’t broach the topic of why your fantasy football team got screwed. Type “ALL YARDS AND NO TOUCHDOWNS MAKES JACK A DULL BOY,” over and over again, obsessively, like there’s something wrong with you.

Get kicked out of an AA meeting for suggesting everyone “get toasted” and participate in a mock draft. Get banned from the holocaust memorial for trying to organize a survivor pick em’.

Regain consciousness weeks later, sometime in the late afternoon, on the fifty-yard line of your old high school’s football field. Check if you peed yourself. Swear you’ll never care this much about a fictional representation of sports statistics. Tell yourself things are going to get better. Remind yourself that there’s always next year.

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Buffalo Bills-NFL Coaching News: What’s New in Man Meets Football

Published: December 26, 2009

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Things have been a little bit quiet in the Buffalo Bills football front. Another disappointing loss to the New England Patriots to make it 13 straight losses to their AFC East rivals should theoretically cement any chance that interim head coach Perry Fewell will be named the full time head coach next year. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean he shouldn’t be, but that’s how things should work out.

Not much news on the head coaching front for the Bills. Supposedly Mike Shanahan is going to end up in Washington with the Redskins. The only way I see that possible is if owner Dan Snyder backs off from the day-to-day operations. Most owners have a lot of power with their teams, and they should. After all, they own them.

However, Dan Snyder takes that right to a whole new level. He’s a micro-manager. Shanahan likes a lot of power and flexibility to build his team the way he wants to. Seems like a quick and easy recipe for further drama with the ‘Skins.

However, if Snyder backs off and lets GM Bruce Allen really put his mark on this team, which seems like a better situation for Shanahan. We’ll just have to wait and see how that plays out.

On an unrelated note, I had an interesting day today while working at the radio station. I actually got to go on air and talk about football and the Bills. A big thank you to Mike Ward, host of Inside Local Sports, for giving me that opportunity.

I must say I enjoy getting to talk about football with sports people. Hopefully I’ll continue to have some semi-intelligent things to say in relation to football and the Bills so I don’t squander this chance that Mike has so graciously afforded me. Stay tuned!

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Sebastian Jankowski Kicks Football To The Moon (Satire)

Published: December 26, 2009

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Oakland Raiders kicker Sebastian Janikowski set a personal record earlier this week. Janikowski, the power-kicking, alcohol-abusing, left-footed place kicker for the Oakland Raiders actually kicked a ball to the moon.

“It was pretty cool,” said Jankowski in an interview after the kick.

Janikowski, who had always claimed in practice that he could kick a football to the moon, had never been taken seriously on the attempt. After Janikowski’s game-winning extra point against Denver on Sunday he was called out on the claim. The holder, Shane Lechler, immediately challenged him to his claim of sending a football into the outer space.

“I was a little bit confused right away,” Said Janikowski. “I was just excited that my kick was the reason we beat Denver and all he was thinking about was that.”

Lechler has never believed the claims of Janikowski sending a football to the moon.

“I mean get real, the moon? Does he have any idea how far that is?” Lechler asked.

“I’m not too sure, but if I was too guess I’d say 221,463 miles (356,334 kilometers) at perigee (closest approach to Earth) to 251,968 miles (405,503 kilometers) at apogee (farthest point). The average distance from the moon to the Earth is 238,857 miles (384,392 kilometers),” Janikowski replied.

Surprisingly, Janikowski was right on. His knowledge of the distance to the moon made Lechler nervous, thinking maybe he was more serious about it then he thought.

“Man, kicking a ball to the moon? That’d be crazy! Imma be there for dat one though!! That’d be da bomb!” added Raiders rookie reciever Louis Murphy. Murphy once claimed that at Florida, Tim Tebow once ate a six-pack and a pound from taco bell before a game with Georgia. No one seemed to care.

Janikowsk took Lechler up on the deal. On Tuesday night, Janikowski, Lechler, and Louis Murphy went to the practice field to settle this. Murphy had to be the long-snapper on the try and did exceptionally well in Lechler’s eyes. “I’m going to suggest to coach Cable that Murphy does our long-snapping the rest of the year,” added Lechler.

After that was taken care of Janikowski got set to take aim for the moon. After a great snap by Murphy and excellent hold by Lechler, and shot of Jack Daniels by Janikowski, he set himself for the biggest kick of his career. He kicked a football all the way to the moon.

Lechler couldn’t believe it. Janikowski celebrated with Murphy as Lechler watched in disbelief.

“Well, I guess I’ll know better then to question anything Sebastian Janikowski ever says again,” added Lechler.

N.A.S.A. got word of this historic kick and is going to offer Janikowski a 3-year deal kicking satellites up to the moon after the season. They really think it will give the United States space program an advantage on the rest of the world.

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Fantasy Football: Help Wanted

Published: December 26, 2009

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First, the disclaimer…

This might be the worst article you have ever read on Bleacher Report.

Unfortunately, desperate times call for desperate measures. This Sunday is the championship week for my Fantasy Football league. The difference in winning and losing is roughly $750, and to put it lightly, I NEED THAT CASH.

I have pulled out an unhealthy amount of hair on my head trying to figure out which two runningbacks I should start, and I’m sitting here with bald spots and less confidence than I had when I started.

Any helpful analysis would be greatly appreciate.

Steven Jackson vs. Arizona (at Arizona)

Brian Westbrook vs. Denver (at Philly)

Jamaal Charles vs. Cincinnati (at Cincinnati)

Jerome Harrison vs. Oakland (at Cleveland)

Jonathan Stewart vs. New York Giants (at NY— with DeAngelo Williams likely out)

Maurice Morris vs. San Fran (at San Fran— Kevin Smith = out)

If you’re short on analysis, I have created a poll…you’re vote would be appreciated

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Sunday Night Football Flex Scheduling Watch and Playoff Watch: Week 15

Published: December 24, 2009

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NBC’s Sunday Night Football package gives it flexible scheduling. For the last seven weeks of the season, the games are determined on 12-day notice, six-day notice for Week 17.

The first year, no game was listed in the Sunday Night slot, only a notation that one game could move there. Now, NBC lists the game it “tentatively” schedules for each night. However, the NFL is in charge of moving games to prime time.

Here are the rules from the NFL web site (note that this was written with the 2007 season in mind):

Begins Sunday of Week 11
In effect during Weeks 11-17
Only Sunday afternoon games are subject to being moved into the Sunday night window.
The game that has been tentatively scheduled for Sunday night during flex weeks will be listed at 8:20 p.m. ET.
The majority of games on Sundays will be listed at 1:00 p.m. ET during flex weeks except for games played in Pacific or Mountain time zones which will be listed at 4:05 or 4:15 p.m. ET.
No impact on Thursday, Saturday, or Monday night games.
The NFL will decide (after consultation with CBS, FOX, NBC) and announce as early as possible the game being played at 8:20 p.m. ET. The announcement will come no later than 12 days prior to the game. The NFL may also announce games moving to 4:05 p.m. ET and 4:15 p.m. ET.
Week 17 start time changes could be decided on six days notice to ensure a game with playoff implications.
The NBC Sunday night time slot in “flex” weeks will list the game that has been tentatively scheduled for Sunday night.
Fans and ticket holders must be aware that NFL games in flex weeks are subject to change 12 days in advance (six days in Week 17) and should plan accordingly.
NFL schedules all games.
Teams will be informed as soon as they are no longer under consideration or eligible for a move to Sunday night.
Rules NOT listed on NFL web site but pertinent to flex schedule selection: CBS and Fox each protect games in five out of six weeks, and could not protect any games Week 17 in 2007. Unless I find out otherwise, I’m assuming that’s still the case this year, especially with no tentative game listed Week 17. When looking up info on what the protected games might be, I found out that games were protected after Week FIVE this year, and presumably in some of the previous years. Previously all I knew was that games were protected after week four the first year of flexible scheduling.
Three teams can appear a maximum of six games in prime time on NBC, ESPN, or NFL Network (everyone else gets five) and no team may appear more than four times on NBC. A list of all teams’ number of appearances is in my week five post.
A rule that may have come to light late last year but that, given its restrictiveness and lateness in coming to light, I’m having trouble accepting, is that the balance of prime time games taken from FOX and CBS can’t go beyond 22-20 one way or the other. The current tally is FOX 20, CBS 21.

Week 17 (Jan. 3 Playoff Positioning Watch):

AFC East: Patriots (@Texans) lead by two over Dolphins (v. Steelers) and Jets, both of which they split the series with. (Since Miami swept the Jets a three-way tie would go to the Dolphins.) The Patriots and Dolphins each have divisional records of 4-2 to the Jets’ 2-4, eliminating the Jets, and I’ll wait to research common games until Sunday.
AFC North: Bengals (@Jets) lead, Ravens (@Raiders) a game back, Steelers out by being swept.
AFC South: Colts clinched.
AFC West: Chargers clinched.
AFC Wild Card: If the season ended today, the Broncos (v. Chiefs) and Ravens would get the nod (the Ravens beat the Broncos earlier in the season). The Dolphins, Jets, Steelers, Jaguars (@Browns), Texans, and Titans (@Seahawks) are a game back.
AFC Playoff Positioning Among Division Winners: Colts have locked up the 1. Chargers (v. Redskins) have a two-game lead for the two wins over the Bengals and Patriots. Bengals-Jets and Dolphins-Steelers are the main AFC contenders for prime time, but a lot depends on how the wild Wild Card shakes out.
NFC East: Eagles (@Cowboys) lead, Cowboys a game back, Giants two back. Because the Cowboys and Eagles play each other, the scenario that ends with the Giants tied for the division creates a three-way tie. The Cowboys would lose the division tiebreaker and the Eagles swept the Giants, so the Eagles would win the division.
NFC North: Vikings lead by two games over Packers, and I don’t know if you noticed, but the Vikings swept that series.
NFC South: Saints clinched.
NFC West: Cardinals clinched.
NFC Wild Card: The Packers (@Cardinals) and Cowboys would get the nod if the season ended today (Green Bay beat Dallas), with the Giants (@Vikings) a game back and the Falcons waiting in the wings but would still finish with a worse conference record than the Packers or Cowboys.
NFC Playoff Positioning Among Division Winners: Saints (@Panthers) lead by two over Vikings, but scenario that leads to tie would give the Vikings a better conference record. Vikings lead by one over Eagles, who lead by one over Cardinals.
Analysis: The NFC definitely has the better games with Cowboys-Eagles and Giants-Vikings, but the NFL showed last year they’re more concerned with making sure the game has playoff implications no matter what happens when we get to prime time, which would seem to favor the AFC’s chaotic race at the moment…unless the very likely case happens where Cowboys-Eagles is an effective NFC East title game, even if the loser is still in the playoffs. (See why Broncos-Eagles wasn’t picked for Week 16?) I’ll track evolving playoff scenarios on Twitter this Sunday.

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Christmas Carols 2009: Spreading Football Cheer

Published: December 24, 2009

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Another holiday season is upon us, which means family, friends, and the spirit of giving. My gift to you, as it has been these last few years, are everyone’s favorite Christmas carols with an NFL (and now college) spin.

Be sure to load up on eggnog, put on your ugly sweater, and sing these carols loudly this Christmas. Maybe Santa will be so wowed he’ll give you the gift of your team in the playoffs. Unless you’re a Jets fan.

Here comes Tom Cable
(to the tune of “Here Comes Santa Claus”)

Here comes Tom Cable,
Here comes Tom Cable,
Coming to punch us out.
Bad on defense,
And worse on offense,
And a great big gout.
Bells are ringing, women screaming,
Oh what a terrible sight.
So hang your stocking but lock the door
‘Cause Tom Cable comes tonight.

Here comes Tom Cable,
Here comes Tom Cable,
In his mid forties.
Al Davis has got his seat
At 800 degrees!
See his Raiders trip and bumble
Future’s sort of bright,
So jump in bed, leave the team for dead
‘Cause Tom Cable comes tonight.

An Ochocinco Christmas
(to the tune of “Deck the Halls”)

Did you hear ‘bout Ochocinco,
Fined fined fined fined fined, fined fined fined fined!
Tried to bribe the refs a dollar,
Fined fined fined fined fined, 20 grand.
Don he now a big sombrero,
Fined fined fined, fined fined fined, 30 grand,
Wore a wrongly colored chinstrap
Fined fined fined fined fined, fined ten thousand.

Wanted to wear Henry’s 15,
Fa la la la la, would have been cool.
But the NFL said no,
Fa la la la la, la just chill out.
We just wish Goodell would relax,
Fa la la, la la la, you’ve been fined
Maybe he should kiss the baby,
Fa la la la la, oh Child Please.

Home Field Isn’t Comin’ to Town
(to the tune of Santa Claus is ‘Comin to Town)

You better play well,
You better go fight,
Even though Favre has played all right,
Home field isn’t comin’, to town.

Drew Brees is a stud,
His numbers are nice
And under pressure he’s as cool as ice,
Home field isn’t comin’, to town

They score when you are sleeping,
They score when you’re awake,
And they’ll play the big game in the Superdome
With the Superbowl at stake

Oh, AP better run,
And Percy take flight,
Though Minny will play with all their might,
Home field isn’t comin’, to town.

Silent Night
(to the tune of…uh…”Silent Night”)

Silent night…
Quiet night…
Just another…..Jaguars home game
Game’s been blacked out, once again.
Cannot sell out, can’t explain.
Off to LA we go-o…
Off to LA we go.

Silent night…
Quiet night…
David Garrard, gets no breaks.
MJD, took a knee.
Searching for playoffs, but it’s not to be.
We should just draft Tim Te-bow…
We should just draft Tim Tebow

On the 12th day of Christmas, the NFL gave to me…
(to the tune of “12 Days of Christmas”)

Twelve on the field
Eleven Drew Brees touchdowns
Ten failed fake field goals
Nine Packers O-lines
Eight Cribbs kickoff TD’s
Seven wild card hopefuls
Six new kickers
FIIIIVE CUTLER PICKS!!
Four Oakland QB’s
Three canned OC’s
Two Tampa wins
And a brand new Brett Favre team!

“We Wish We Were In the Title Game”
(to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
But we’re from TCU.

The BCS stinks,
It hates us Horned Frogs.
It’s just scared we’ll throttle ‘Bama
Someone pass the eggnog.

No love for the WAC,
Or the Mountain West
So we’ll have a fiesta
Mauling Idaho’s best.

We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
We wish we were in the title game,
But we need a playoff!!

This is an original article by Pigskin Heaven Writer, Whit Prowdy, you can read it, more of Whit Prowdy’s articles and more from the Pigskin Heaven staff, here.