NFL Week Three Hal-Oscopes: Trust Me, It Might Happen


Published: September 25, 2009

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... instance: when will the Texans' Steve Slaton wake up and realize the regular season has started?

Are the Browns really not going to score an offensive touchdown all year?

Are L.T. and Brian Westbrook both finished?

And well, well, lookie here. Turns out Eli Manning does have some people to throw to.

Week Three will begin to provide some more answers to all of our nagging questions, but for those who can’t wait for the actual games this Sunday and Monday, I give you the Hal-Oscopes.

For those new readers, the Hal-Oscopes are a horoscope of sorts (not really, but play along), for a select group of NFL players and personalities. They are a mystic, cosmic, (and let’s hope) comedic foretelling of the future by the stars.

Brady Quinn (Sunday @ Baltimore)

Quinn is an air sign, which could mean that he’s going to air it out against the not-as-good-as they should be Raven defense. But due to a pathetic running gam...

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