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“T Gonna Land on His Feet”: The Terell Owens Circus Goes Late Night.

Published: July 21, 2009

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So what did we learn about Terrell Owens from last night’s premiere of “The TO Show?” 

For one, he flies in a personal motivational squad to console him after losing a job that pays more than what most families make in ten years.  Two, his emotional state is as stable as Glenn Frey and Don Henley’s relationship.  Three, he fancies Asian real estate agents. 

So basically, two things we already knew and one we’re not sure we wanted to.

Still, the VH1 “celebreality” show offers us a glimpse, albeit a seemingly calculated glimpse, into the mind of one of the most perplexing sports figures of the last twenty years. 

Love him or hate him, he’s still the source of many bar arguments and the Skip Bayless heart attacks.  And isn’t that what sports is really all about?

What other receivers in the NFL could possibly do this?  Chad Ochocinco would ham it up so hard he’d make A Rod’s iron-on personality look like the picture of authenticity. 

Is TO forcing it on the show?  Of course.  But what else can you expect?  The first episode had the queen of diva wide receivers in LA, a city that just welcomed Manny Roid-mirez back with open botoxed arms.

At one point one of TO’s female “business partners” that just happens to follow him everywhere referred to a “Terrell vs. TO” duality that affects his life.  In her armchair psychological opinion TO suffers from some sort of split personality disorder.  No word on yet if it was ” Terrell” or “TO” that lead the NFC in drops last season. 

So how will the Owens freak show fit into his new home in Buffalo?  TO’s Hollywood act will only work if he puts points on the board.  If the Bills make the playoffs, Buffalonians would let TO take their daughters to the prom.

No doubt “The TO Show” will cause many blue-collared Western New Yorkers to call the local sports radio station and rant after a few Old Viennas.  But why bother turning on the guy now?  A lake of OV couldn’t numb the prolonged agony of three straight 7-9 seasons. 

So face facts Buffalo fans, until he actually does go through with the TO act, he may be your best shot at a wild card birth in years.  Once you digest that statement, you’ll need therapy that even VH1 wouldn’t air.